Erika Katz

Beauty Expert • Author • bondingoverbeauty.com

What was the most beautiful thing a mother has shared with you about your book, "Bonding Over Beauty"?

Here is a review on Amazon that really touched me. "My 11 year old daughter and I have been reading this book together. I love the simple advice on beauty, make up, skin care, nutrition. We sit together at night, when she is ready for bed and I let her flip through the pages and choose what she wants to read. We go through the chapter and then I tell her what it was like when I was a kid and that opens the door for her to have conversations with me about what she likes, how she wants to look, things that frustrate her about being a girl, a kid and everything that comes with it. It was during one of these bedtime chats, that she told me about kids doing drugs in the school park. I asked her how she felt about it, and she told me that she was really glad she had a mom she could talk to about all these things and a mom who understood about wanting to wear make up and dress nice and look pretty. It was in that moment that I knew the time I was taking to read a book about beauty had paid off. We love this book, and I, as a mom am glad that I took the time to slow down and spend those quiet moments with my daughter."

To think that my book started a conversation between a mother and child that could potentially help a mother prevent her daughter from trying drugs and going down a bad path was one of the most rewarding things i have read. That is exactly my intention - to give moms the tools to help their daughters feel mom is the one to trust and mom has the good advice rather than their friends. It was a really special feeling when I read that. I also loved that this mom "slowed down" and took the time to sit with her daughter. Our lives are so busy sometimes we forget to just sit down and talk to our children.

How is it that so many mothers still have difficulty connecting with their daughters? What role do you think the Feminist Movement played in advancing the mother-daughter dialog?

I think feminism has played two different roles in mother daughter communication. On the one hand, it has put women in the workplace so there is less time to talk with our children and it is harder to always know what is really going on. But, the feminist movement has also empowered women to understand their feelings are just important as a man's feelings. It is okay to talk about sexuality with our daughters, and puberty is no longer a taboo subject. I think the women's movement has allowed mothers to talk to their daughters openly and honestly so that they can give them all the right information instead of keeping them in the dark.

I think mothers have difficulty connecting with their daughters because they do not start soon enough. Bed time when they are little should be a time for them to say whatever is on their mind. As they get older, that special time has to be recreated whether its while you are driving her to school or when you are helping her with her hair. The key is to keep all subjects open for discussion. I think, parents do not always listen to their children. If a girl asks mom to wear makeup or shave her legs, moms response is oftentimes "absolutely not!" That does not foster communication. A better response would be, "honey why do you want to do that, are your friends doing that, are you feeling self conscience about something?" This makes the child feel heard and it gets a dialogue going. Ultimately, connecting with your child is about good open communication.

What was the most challenging part of your book to write?

The introduction was the most challenging part. The meat of the book was there but I wanted to talk directly to moms and tell them my thoughts as to where we really go wrong as parents. Beauty gets a bad rap because many people think beauty is all about appearance. But, true beauty comes with self confidence and security in yourself. I really wanted to make sure moms understood this was not a book about making your daughter into a beauty queen but rather into helping her develop into a self confident young woman with an open loving relationship with her mom.

Will there be a sequel? If so, what will it cover?

Right now, I am working on putting together a tv show that can cover all subjects in the book and more.

Final words how mothers can inspire their daughters to live their best lives?

In this age of texting and emailing, talking to each other has been devalued. But, communication is how we gain knowledge. A mother can learn as much from her daughter as her daughter can learn from her. Ultimately, the mother daughter relationship is irreplaceable and for your daughter to really feel she can do her best, having her mom as her cheerleader will give her the self confidence to face the world.

Copyright 2011 Cris Simone. All rights reserved.